Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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