Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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