oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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