I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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