i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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