I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
