There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
