i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
not ubering you a puppy
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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