3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
