Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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