The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
