Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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