Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she smelled like a LAN party
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
