just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
