pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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