the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
