it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
