whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
