she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
