Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
