me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
