Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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