Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
