its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
