Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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