it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
