Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
