I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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