I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
