She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
