Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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