I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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