I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
