so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
