i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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