Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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