Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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