i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
