There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
