Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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