i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
