eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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