I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
