Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
