i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
