Whod you bang
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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