Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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