This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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