Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
