thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
