we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
